Friday, May 27, 2005
picking up the pieces, and walking back into the light
thursday's picsenrichment week this week, and tuesday was dead boring. had life science course thing. and i kept on wanting to sleep. tsk whatever. wednesday had tessellation competition. haha our freaking shape didn't even tessellate? hahah we just made up a last minute shape in the last 5-10minutes? tsk so funny. after that had uh indian cultural appreciation? it was quite okay lah. indian dance haha. yesterday went to the clan association and tea chapter! the clan was damn boring, cos this guy was giving a talk. and it was so monotonous, i was trying my best not the sleep and some people, including that fat useless piece of blubber were really really pissing me off like hell nuts. tsk. the tea chapter was really fun! took loads of pics and we played ate and drank tea :D okay. i think that was the most exciting and interesting programme for this whole week. today had what creativity talk and chinese cultural appreciation a.k.a chinese opera. oh my god boring lah. and that occ was really really bitchy and irritating. - looks at sara ng :) went to cinch's house for a while before going for piano, i love her room! its so big oh my god :D hahah.
there's music comm auditions for choir on tuesday and im really scared, even though sumin told me not to be? AHH help. i hope yings becomes asl or even sl :D i alr told sumin my plan on how to not get any post at all! haha rocks. choir's on wednesday and i have a feeling we're going to get miss lim really really angry. cos of the song of a stupid cockaroach who broke its leg and now we have to sing a song about it. pft.
i wonder whether its the people around or just me. all the bad things come in a whole string, non stop. but at least i know there are some people that i can always talk to when im feeling really sad and down.
i really dont know if i should trust you anymore.. it really hurts like mad. you did it again today, and i didn't want to say anything. cos if i did, i don't know what would have happened.
i think not, thanks for doing this..When You're Weary Feeling Small
When Tears Are In Your Eyes I Will Dry Them All
I'm On Your Side
Oh When Times Get Rough
And Friends Just Can't Be Found
Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
I Will Lay Me Down
When You're Down And Out
When You're On The Street
When Evening Falls So Hard
I Will Comfort You
I'll Take Your Part
Oh When Darkness Comes
And Pain Is All Around
Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
I Will Lay Me Down
Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
I Will Lay Me Down
Sail On Silver Girl
Sail On By
Your Time Has Come To Shine
All Your Dreams Are On Their Way
See How They Shine
Oh When You Need A Friend
Well Look Around I'm Sailing Right Behind
Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
I Will Ease Your Mind
Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
I Will Ease Your Mind
Your Mind, Ease Your Mind
#LOU
Friday, May 20, 2005
happy birthday lousy ceecee!
cos i most prob wont be coming online tomorrow. yes, thanks for everything. lalala LOVE YOU! :D
hoho, i just screwed up big time today. all you out there, congragulate me! i am probably going to get scolded and fired as home ec rep for not collecting the files today! but like almost everyone din have their files ready! darn. i await my punishment on tuesday a.k.a. lou's death anniversary! all you who detest me, you are welcome to come to the home ec room and watch me melt into a puddle of goo right before your very eyes! HUR. to all people in
twopee index no 18-35 : you all better get your file ready by tuesday morning 0700 sharp! pass this msg to all your friends im serious.music test thing was freaking stupid. was studying geog during music hoho. history test was plain hilarious! thanks to miss cindy chia and her bestie, the humanities room air con! haha. lye din even ask us to shut up when we were laughing so obviously hahah. geog was.. i forgot alot of shit, actually dont want to talk about it now yeah. im more concerned about my death on tuesday acually. haha. oh and i must say
sara ng is a very good study partner. i hope next term i can sit next to her so all my grades will go up! haha.
i love ong, she made my day today :Dum im really irresponsible, sorry cheryl! i have to get ready the notice board headings by tuesday cos the board and classroom has to be presentable for the parent teacher meeting on friday :\ shall do them tomorrow or something. but i have math tuition at 1 tomorrow until 4. and on sunday i got canteen duty in the morning, meeting ong su cinch and charm for ipw after that, then got choir prac at 430 before mass and procession. HUR so busy. and great news, i havent even started on my freaking maths portfolio. why the heck would the school need 440 ramp designs just for senior citizens in wheelchairs to enter the school hall! so irritating.
i really dont deserve to be sem2 monitor. hur.choir yesterday was... i got no comments! sumin refused to help! hur. but it's not her fault lah. she rocks! she's too nice alr haha. a few people were really pissing me off. some times, when you're not needed, it is really aprreciated if you dont butt in. HUR. i hope the sec ones will just bother to open their mouths and project! if not they can just not sing the jap song for the concert, how perfect would that be? :D ok that's really mean but im sorry! i really cant stand it when they just stare at you blanky or some dont even bother opening their mouths while some open their mouths too much. okay i should not rant. ranting is bad. ranting does not do you any good. i should not rant.
oh i support carrie underwood! she so rocks :D i dont like that bo bice guy. he's so UGH.
cant wait for the june hols. then we'll have the long awaited three rocks outing at lingjing's house! and shopping! loads and loads of shopping! esp when im on holiday :D but then there's also loads and loads of homework. hur. but shopping is heaven! actually, will prob stay at home for the most of the hols doing my homework and catching up on my studies. i've slacked for two whole terms. time to really buck up, lou! its streaming year, mind me! ugh. must study! muggggg.
although i wished there was such a thing as a choir clique which welcomes me..im really sorry that i wronged you. IM REALLY SORRY! i thought you did it.. SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!
move, click, boom.
#LOU
Friday, May 13, 2005
when will my reflection show, who i am inside
okay fine so the last post was rather sarcastic and whatever you want to call it.
im sorry to the both of you (if you know who you are) . i know im really dumb stupid useless idiotic bitchy irritating and all that shit, but im really sorry okay. i just felt really hurt cos i really cant stand being left out and im sorry, but it's just me.. no matter what, i still love you both even though i think by now you are really hating me. sorry.to passerby and azsvgbhnjmk,l. you know actually what i write in here has nothing to do with you? like seriously. it's like my blog? and my ranting ground? and really i worte that post in a fit of anger, but even so it's really none of your business. atually i alr know who you are so you dont need to hide your whatever comments or stufF? i really dont give a damn about what you think. maybe if you are someone who values friendships and relationships like i do, you would understand? but then again you were never in my position so i dont think you have the right to say such shit? and miss passerby, how would you know if i actually reflect upon myself? you're not me so you shouldn't jump to such conclusions, dont you think? and thanks for sparing me the embarassment to make your post private. but really, you din need to do that? and im not acting? maybe it's my fault but no one is actually perfect? dont tell me you've never done anything wrong. maybe not as many but its the same thing as one person taking little drugs and one person taking alot, they're both still taking drugs. maybe if you were daring enough you would come and confront me face to face? then you could give me comments on how to change for the better? i would really appreciate that :) but if not, i would appreciate if you could keep your comments to yourself. oh by the way, you just spoilt my day, but never the less, thank you :)
oh wells, on a brighter note, today's friday :D and there's no tuition tomorrow morning! and i just realised how terrible i sound when i record my voice. wonder if it's the camera or just me? hmm. anyway choir yesterday was.. bad. la cucaracha made miss lim tell us to "get out" and sectionals made her really dissapointed.. she talked about how disappointing we were and that if we refused to jiayou she'll just let us die there? yeah i guess we asked for it. okay so an
APOLOGY HERE TO ALL ALTO ONES AND TWOS : IM SORRY I WAS SO GRUMPY DURING SECTIONALS YESTERDAY. IM SORRY I ALWAYS LOOK SO PISSED AND IRRITATED. IM SORRY BECAUSE I WAS IN A BAD MOOD YESTERDAY AND LET IT AFFECT ME DURING CHOIR. IM SORRY FOR ALWAYS MAKING SECTIONALS SO BORING AND DULL. IM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU ALL LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF MISS LIM. IM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A BOSSY IDIOT. IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I HAVE DONE THAT OFFENDED YOU OKAY. I'LL TRY MY BEST TO IMPROVE OKAY. LOVE :D jubilate deo is such a nice song. i kept on singing it in school today. totally flunked math test, as usual. cabbed home again. i just felt so lazy. next week is last week for lessons, cos week 10 is all weird stuff, home ec test on monday, both history and geography on friday. whoo, wish me luck :) okay my head hurts real bad and i have no idea why, guilty consience i guess haha.
CINCH MY MUMMY :D i love you so much. thanks for everything. i think no one else could actually put up with all my shit and complains and ranting, but you din leave me alone like the others. and i really am grateful for that. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I COULD JUST SHOOT MYSELF AND DIE FOR YOU. you rock loads, and remember not to mumble during common tests anymore! haha. no la joking, its okay lah, and dont worry for your math test dear, you'll definitely be able to pass this time! if not i swop papers with you lah! haha thats only if i pass too :D okay love real much!
CEECEE! :D hello miss vandiliser, haha thanks for listening to me yesterday and disfiguring both my arms and my knees. i cant scrub them off eh! and my mum scolded me, tsk tsk. but anyway could you do me a favour? okay nvmind i ask you on tuesday lah :D darn, the four of us havent gone out tog for so long, but bin's exams coming alr so sure cannot one. DARN. you know one year ago i was still hating you and you were also hating me. HOHO. if i hadn't known better i would never think that you'd be such a good listener. and seriously i dont know what to do about it. not that i can do anything much :\ oh wells LOVE LOADS!
YINGS :D hi, thanks for listening to me and comforting me and all that shit. i know it's really really really difficult to put up with me. but im sorry! i really cant help it no matter how hard i try. and i thought i actually improved until this thing happened. maybe it's really my fault. but i dont know what i can do! i think i should be sent to woodbridge to be hanged and let my body be eaten up by maggots. i realy dont know what to do. but anyhow, LOVE YOU.
CAM :D three words. I LOVE YOU :D
okay my head is seriously killing. bye.
#LOU
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
everytime i see, you in my dreams, i see your face, it's haunting me
im only here for my darling yings sake. unfortunately, it wouldn't be such a nice post.
i think you BOTH really suck to the core. i didn't know i could hate a person so fucking much. the sudden change came as such a shock. you both only think of yourselves, and not the feelings of those around you. i know that im very untolerable at times, but aren't you too? i put up with both of you for almost a whole month, before you all stop doing such hurtful stuff. do you think it was very nice to be scrutinized till such an extent? well let me tell you, IT'S FREAKING NOT. you treat me like a molecule of air, and im only visible when you need something from me. if not im just something for you to take for granted. you play the whole day and are almost NEVER serious. you know how much you two suck? i cannot put the feeling into words. i have never gone through so much hurt. and it has to be the both of you who inflicts it. i trusted you, i gave in to you, i thought you were going to be there for me! but i was so fucking wrong. you even got close to the people who i was close to and included them in everything and i just stood there and stared, but you never once cared, or gave a damn about it. but i just kept on waiting for the day you all would catch a glimpse. but im sorry i cant go on like that anymore. i really hate you both so much. thanks for making all hope go away. thanks for making me feel that life is so meaningless. thanks for taking away everything from me. i really feel like jumping off a million storey building now. and it's all both of your faults. are you happy now? i sure hope you both are. life is so fucking meaningless now. there's no point going through all this pain for nothing. i really want to die now. right here. at this very spot. im sorry, but i just cant continue waiting anymore. please stop hurting me, you fucking assholes. i detest you two more than anything else in this world. FUCK OFF, BITCHES.
#LOU