Saturday, February 28, 2004
heys.im sick.went to sch on thurs an had fever so came home after like an hour?hahas.muz be all da shouting during hse prac. and choir on tues.had to miss choir on thurs.boohoos.and i've been having lotsa nitemares recently.u noe.im not sure but i think im ver afraid of losing xw.i even dreamt that when i went back to school after sick days,xw was sitting next to yb.it was relle scary.i guess im relle being over sensitive?i relle cannot stand it when the bitch does these kinda things juz to try and 'make known' her 'sadness and confusion' to me.it just hurts me too much.too much.
#LOU
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
woohoos.choir wazzie so fun yesterday.and the weather agreed oso(fer once).during warmups there were the teletubbies.lirong(tinkie winkie) cheryl sim(dipsy) sihui(lala) fren(dunno her name start wif B=po) so farnies. den during sectionals,we sang like 3 lines from the jap song den we wenta plae games played jacob's ladder at first partnered grace(sec 3)(think thats her name) den partnered pei qing(sec. 4) den the weixin keep on bullying peiqing and call her number so i kenna saboed oso.budden ver fun larh.den we played husband and wife smth like whacko.except more confusing.and den played captains ball. we won 7 to 5. yay!!! den wenta canteen to eat and drink and they were passing round chips and all but i dint eat anything cos the sore throat was coming.drank a coke mix sprite only. and everyone.even the sec. 2s kept on tempting me.but of cos i dint give in.den the sop 2s were cheering so we interuptered their cheer too!first time i enjoyed choir soso much and first time i was so enthu during choir osos. scream so much.now cannot tok properly.hehs.den when we were all hot n sweaty after plaeing it rained so nice.den left my file in chopan room den the sec. 4 called me.so embarrassing.hahas.anyway today started off nicely but ended horribly.i think im starting to get jealous of xw.not relle jealous lah.but the bitch rite becos she noe xw very pop and i always with xw so she is TRYING to snatch xw from me to get my attention.and she told xw dat she is SAD AND CONFUSED.she siad she dint do anything rong.ha.nva expected my 7 yr fren to turn into a wolf in sheep's skin.and when i tell my pri sch frens bout it.(sum of them) they like think im lying and very angry with me.why dun u try being in my place.its not as easy as u think.i know im spoilt.i know im always wanting my way.i know im very self centered.i know you want to get my attention.u have already suceeded.u have got my attention.y do u still have to take my bezzie fren away from me.why?is it very fun to see me suffer?i can't rite on.i can't stand it.dun push me too far.dun sae i dint warn u.
#LOU
Saturday, February 21, 2004
yay. unbanned for 1 dae. muz make full use of it. haha. going to macs to pick zq and xw up later. we're gonna do a chinese lit project. haha. so weird. i dun think my comp can type chinese lorh. wanna die. haiz. nvm. anywae. been having lotsa probs at home. relle ver tiring.and i tink she relle hates me=( so sad lorh. but xw and i promised dat we wun tok to dem thru sms online or nething. cos we're juz juniors. yup. lousy boring bitchy juniors. haiz. am felling so down. can't wait to go n meet dem.
#LOU
Monday, February 16, 2004
okies. so i said dat sec. school sux rite. yarh. ok so it doesn't. i guess i was relle quite angry at **** ***** and at mieself as well? yarh. guess so. first time i broke down in sn so far. i was trying mie best to hold back but every tear drop seemed to be against me. they juz kept on flowing out. and all mie frens were crowding round me i relle couldn't stand it. but i kept my face hidden with mie pinafore and after bout 3+4 minutes i managed to dry them all away prob cos it was time fer lessons. i tot i could be not so sensitive when i came to sec. sch but i realised i havent changed at all in that area. haiz. bad habit since young. is there anyway to cure it? i dun think so rite. anywae wenta give out pressies to da counsellers tis morn. acc. only gave to kanglin and sihui. and gave to xiao wei and ziqin. yanzhen wasn't dere so i give her tml. yarh. and i went to sit with ziqin during science and when i told the idiot" eh today im sittin with ziqin u wan u can go and find anyone to sit with u" she gave me that 'i feel like killing u' stare. so farnie. im so scared!!! haha. meanmean me. but u can't change dat can u? wahahaz. yesh and kanglin thankied us(xiaowei and me) but sihui nva. haha. i dun relle care lah. i relle think sihui has started to hate me after xiaowei gave her that fateful letter. haiz. so sad=( but nvm. i shall juz live life as usual. which is prob sadly isn't it?=( sianzies. yay. juz got to noe dat mie cathechism class sec. 4 is in sn! she's in 4D. yup. today ziqin tried pranking me again. she said eh juz now during recess i saw sihui in the field frantically looking fer smth. and den she asked me 'eh where's louisa arh?' but of cos i dint fall fer it. but i relle dun like it when pple do dat to me. so what if i get attached to pple easily. i can spend an hour with any stranger and if he or she is nice i will sae that he or she rox lorh. its juz a bad habit of getting attahed easily i guess? but pls juz stop saying those kinda things already. its hurting enuf.=(and yes. i had junk food fer dinner on saturday and fer lunch todae. cos my maid was too lazy to cook fer me so i had to go and buy myself. sumtimes i wonder what she is hired for. i've been tolerating since k2. i can't hold on any longer.haiz. shall not tok bout dat anymore. have choir tml. dunno whether im looking forward to it or not. anyway, i can't blog any longer. frustrations filling me up. sadness. tears. everything dat is bad. let me go and save myeself.
#LOU
Saturday, February 14, 2004
ok. so i blogged alot already today. im bored. im alone at home. with no one to talk to. to one to share my problems with. i dun tink anyone can stand me. no one will accept me. i mite as well juz go and die. everyone has been going against me. everything. even my bladdy hair. but most importantly, my family has been going against me. tis morn my parents locked their room door. dint allow me to go inside and get things i wasn't allowed in my blog. my lollipop melted. my hp headset was spoilt. has the world turned its back on me or have i turned my back on the world? i guess its da second wan isn't it. i'll have to take time to think about it. i havent studie anything todae yets. will stay up laterz to study. yup. have to go out and buy dinner later. haiz. prob end up eating junk food once again.
junk food-->junk me-->unacceptable me
tell me to get lost.
#LOU
haha loz pple.wahaha. went back to olgc fer brownies todae. found out dat we get CIP points fer going back. muz go back more oftens. yesh anyway. i flunked yesterdae's maths common test. wasn't concentrating. haiz. flunkflunkflunk. quarrelled with mie dad last nite. again. i mean its so not mie fault lorhx. the comp hang den he say hu ask u go and download this that everything. i mean like HALLO!!! i nva download anything lorh. den i was like i nva download anything larh. dat was all i said den he was like u better not scream at me arh. im warning u. u have no rite. and i wasn't even screaming mind you. f him. and i was enjoying mie dinner at sushi tei last nite with jerome and angie jiejie and den he and mie mum cames and whenever i tokked he would criticize me. everything i do he goes against me. sumtimes i relle wonder how i survivied living in the same house as him fer the past 12+ yrs. yarhx. i juz came back from j8. went dere by myself at like 10 in the mornin. like almost every shop was closed except kalms. so i went into kalms and spent like 25 bucks dere. den i wokked and found dat gift a name wasn't open. so i went to popular and bot a gold and silver marker and some colour pens. cost abt 16$$?? i dunno about dere lah. den i wanted to go gift a name but it wasn't open. so i walked round j8 like 3-4 times the whole of it. and finally gift a name was open. so i went dere and i was already almost broke and only spent like 5$$ on a message in a bottle. den i had 2$$ left so i went to buy a mrs. field's cookie dat cost me 1.70. so dere. almost 50$$ gone. haiz. broke me. yay!!! haha. anywae i needa go and make my belated v dae cards=)!!! using my new pens. wahaha. anywae. have a happi v dae k pple. dun spend it like me.=(
#LOU
Friday, February 13, 2004
i am so in a bad mood todae. wun tell u why. but i'm relle angry. sec sch sux. or maybe its juz the pple there. sum pple at least. but u c. now im not tokking bout pple from mie claz. its sumwan whom i tot was such a nice person. its so saddening. she has nva been so bad since i knew her. maybe its juz time for me to see her true self. i have no idea how tis is gonna turn out. i hope the outcome is good. yeahs. hehs. today had a whole series of bad events. wad a horrible dae. flunked my maths common test btw.
#LOU
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
bleahx. back from tution. am in a damn bad mood todae.=(my pw grp still has the idiot(yan bing) and wurly hair(frances) inside. audrey and weiling are ok i guess. and that lao kokkok is realli getting on my nerves. she keeps on hitting people on the head and butt. molest.=( i realli realli starting to feel the pressure. every assignment is counted in exams. and i can't do normal ass. well. i dunno why. habit i guess. esp on days when i have tution and choir. i come back rather late from sch. feel so lethargic and all. dun feel like doing anything so i juz rush thru and get real low marks and all.=( bleahx. muz get rid of dat. see the seniors can stay up to 12 plus 1 and still be so energetic in the morn. and i slp and like 11 plus and can't wake up in the morn. relle embarrassing.=( and i dunno why i keep on getting so hungry and sleepy during maths lessons esp. sumtimes in d n t theory and sometimes science theory. i guess its cos i dun relle tok much cos science im sitting next to idiot and d n t next to jaslyn. dun relle tok to jas.haiz. anyway. yay! im not sitting wif de idiot anymore. wahaha. im sitting very near xiao wei!!! so happi. but im sitting nxt to shiyun. she damn quiet. sumtimes i feel myself quite extra cos im one of the more noisy ones? haha. anyways. i had to clear my bro's dirty socks juz now. maid me?bleahs. and when i washed my hands my maid asked me dun need to wash larh. u wash for wad. wash oso ur whole body still dirty. i pretended not to hear den when i wokked past her she was like hold her nose and muttered disgusting. i tell u i felt like slapping her k. if my mum wasn't at home. she would have got it. im doing her job and shes still soso... i dunno wadda sae. i relle feel like im de maid and she the employer. and when my parents are back she acts so sweet tokkish. kills me. i shant tok bout her. and make me even more angry. yups. got scolded by my piano teacher fer not practising juz now. its like i was studying lorh. and playing piano is not sumthing u can do at anytime of the day. if i could play at nite. i dun mind staying up to prac. and my mum wants me to take up swimming now. not that i cant swim juz dat she wants de awards. haiz. I GOT NO TIME!!!! GEDDIT?! anewae. donate to sngs choir!!!! hahaz. having choir fund raising. not taking part. damn paiseh. cos no sec 1s volunteered. so i dint as well. feel so bad. donate 15$ to hear my fav counseller sing solo. waha. no larh. will still donate no matter wad. celebrated xw's bdae on monday. was meant to be so nice but i wonder hu spoilt it. im so sorri xw. ur party was a disaster. im so so sorri. and she was quite upset(i guess) bout sihui cos when she and dinah came dey were not relle like interested in her i guess? i dunno. and sihui gave this cute thinggy to xw and when xw wrote the thankie letta, she wrote dat i was jealous. i was trying to tell her she shld be happi how sweet sihui is to her. haiz. hope she will get da message soon? i dunno. but relle sorri xw. it wasn't meant to be a disaster. soso sorri. i dunno why i even bother typing. its not like anywan will read rite? detestable me. everyone hates me. even i hate me. its all bout my life. why would anyone wan to noe bout my stupid life? its stoopid. or maybe cos its me? i relle wanna change. be nicer. but no matter how i juz can't. stoopid me. tot i changed already. have i? i dunno. its not up to me to decide. there's choir and tution tml. thursday's a bad dae fer me. sch choir and tution. takes up da whole dae. choirs damn fun tho. tution=(lessons=(nt gd. anywae.realized sum pple relle can't recognise me wif specs on? ha. wonder whether dats gd or not. if only yb counldn't recognise me with specs on. anywae. i bet if u even bother to read tis. u're damn bored. almost falling aslp. cos it bouts my life. why can't i juz be 1% like my bro. he has so many frens. i on the other hand,...haiz. life's always unfair. i guess its alwaes like dat. i relle try to act happi in sch. i dun think i can hold on any longer. im gonna break down soon. tell me to get lost.
#LOU
hehs. have not been bloggin. bleahx. tests. tests. tests. haiz. tml got goeg test and we were only told todae. sianz. anyway. choir is having fund raising. i said i was gonna donate 15$ if sihui sings solo fer my dear class. haha. but nvm. i'll still donate if she doesn't. must support my cca!!!anywae. tis friday got alumni choir de very first prac. haiz. fri. got maths test oso. bleahx. anyway. i need to go and stardie now. blog again soon.
#LOU
Friday, February 06, 2004
helloz pple... had my first common test of da yr. D&T. yesh. and dunno which idiots in my claz wenta write the ans on da board during recess and nva erase during test. maybe need to retake noe! haiz. so sianz. had choir yest. den sihui brot me go n change section landed in alto 1 which is still damn low fa me.=( but nva. i muz jia you. wahaha. lame.anyway sang real badly for section change test thing. was still coughing! wahaha.den went fer tution. den come home do work. so weird lorhx. todae on da bus this 2 sec 3 prefects can tell their from choir and i take the exact same bus 262 n 133 yarh den when they got down 262 cos they get down 1 stop earlier den me den wan of dem waved ta me. so weird. i nva tok to dem one lorhx. yesh. if u dint noe tadae's my bro's bdae! and sunday is xiao wei's!!!! celebratin fer her on mon. waha. lkkin forward 2 it!!! prob ask her gd frewn down too!*raises eyebrows* im mean.im drinking mr bean tau hui drink now. cough sure becoming worse. waha. zeslene's burfday soon. wad to get her? nvm. i'll ask her. im so broke. think i noe wadda get xiao wei. hmm.oi yesh. i realized da reason y the bitch HUELSE is driving me up da wall. SHE IS TRYING TO GET ATTENTION. DATS WHY SHE IS STICKING TO MONITOR ELISA. SHE IS ALSO TRYING TO ACT COOL. AND LAST BUT DEF NOT LEAST SHE IS ACTING PROUD COS SHE GOT INTO NETBALL. and DATS wads driving me up da wall. and more and more pple in my class are gettin to know dat i HATE her.and they are ALSO starting to HATE her. haha. im so mean. but its HER FAULT. no one asked her to be so ACT cool and proud. she DESERVES it. tell me to get lost.
#LOU
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
wednesday,4th febuary 2004
3.50pm
heyaz pple... wanted to blog yesterdae but was ordered off da stoopid comp by my stoopid brother...he's stoopidhe curses me on his blog... stoopid idiot... wahaha...anywae... found it so difficult to sing in choir yesterday... cos had lotsa flame... den damn dif to sing lorhx!!! and i was wearing xaio wei's name tag in choir AND I DINT NOE!!! so embarrassing lorh!!!haiz... yesterdae after choir... i nearly couldn walk up the stairs liao lorhx... had to force myself dunno why suddenly so damn tired... and today wenta sch then the pan laoshi ask me why i tok to xiaowei and ziqin so much... i mean like hello!!! they me frewns lorh!!! why tok to dem? sheesh! maybe cos last time i tok to HU ELSE alot den now i dun tok to her unless she toks to me... haha... feel so proud of dat!!! wahaha!!! haha... den todae during ipw, the pan laoshi sae dat the paperweight that we were doing which is a clock with chinese numbers and background is too normal so want us to change!!! we have to make a paperweight that is related to maths and chinese... so must think all ova again... f lah... today fried food day i couldn resist the temptation!!! i went to eat onion rings!!! tml sure suffer in choir again... haiz... summor wen i got sore throat i cant go low and im in alto 2 lorh... so muz force force strain strain... haiyo... damn tiring... bleahx...so sian... muz go for tution in haf an hours time.... so lucky i dun need to take bus...my mum's fetching me today.=)den todae ziqin anyhow go and tell me 'oi! sihui outside leh!' den everywan stare at me... as if i got do anything wrong liddat...=( den i went to bash ziqin up... then the pan lao shi see me den ask me why u not dicussing with ur group? and i mena like almost haf the class not in their seats den she scold me oni lorhx! BIASED! teachers always seem biased against me... sux man... yea... KILLKILLKILL... KILL HER!!! WAHAHAZ!!! ok... i betta go off b4 i die.=(
#LOU
heyaz pple... wanted to blog yesterdae but was orered off da stoopid comp by my stoopid brother...he's stoopidhe curses me on his blog... stoopid idiot... wahaha...anywae... found it so difficult to sing in choir yesterday... cos had lotsa flame... den damn dif to sing lorhx!!! and i was wearing xaio wei's name tag in choir AND I DINT NOE!!! so embarrassing lorh!!!haiz... yesterdae after choir... i nearly couldn walk up the stairs liao lorhx... had to force myself dunno why suddenly so damn tired... and today wenta sch then the pan laoshi ask me why i tok to xiaowei and ziqin so much... i mean like hello!!! they me frewns lorh!!! why tok to dem? sheesh! maybe cos last time i tok to HU ELSE alot den now i dun tok to her unless she toks to me... haha... feel so proud of dat!!! wahaha!!! haha... den todae during ipw, the pan laoshi sae dat the paperweight that we were doing which is a clock with chinese numbers and background is too normal so want us to change!!! we have to make a paperweight that is related to maths and chinese... so must think all ova again... f lah... today fried food day i couldn resist the temptation!!! i went to eat onion rings!!! tml sure suffer in choir again... haiz... summor wen i got sore throat i cant go low and im in alto 2 lorh... so muz force force strain strain... haiyo... damn tiring... bleahx...so sian... muz go for tution in haf an hours time.... so lucky i dun need to take bus...my mum's fetching me today.=)den todae ziqin anyhow go and tell me 'oi! sihui outside leh!' den everywan stare at me... as if i got do anything wrong liddat...=( den i went to bash ziqin up... then the pan lao shi see me den ask me why u not dicussing with ur group? and i mena like almost haf the class not in their seats den she scold me oni lorhx! BIASED! teachers always seem biased against me... sux man... yea... KILLKILLKILL... KILL HER!!! WAHAHAZ!!! ok... i betta go off b4 i die.=(
#LOU